Everything You Never Wanted To Know About Baby 💩

Whether it’s green baby poop, white baby poop, grey baby poop, yellow baby poop, newborn baby poop, morning poop, night poop, breastfed baby poop, a long-held poop, or formula-fed baby poop, there’s a rumour that dads can’t deal with dirty nappies. That’s a really shitty thing to think. Nappy changes are an integral part of new fatherhood that makes most dads intimately acquainted with baby poop.

Guys the the truth is that, it's disgusting to everyone. Even 4 kid deep parents aren’t immune to the smell. Many parents get over their fear (Or don't and just do what my father did which was wrap a towel around his head, take us into the backyard and point the hose at us 🤷‍♂️) by getting to know thy enemy: baby poop. No matter how brutal the load lurking beneath those nappy tabs maybe, this is what parents need to know about baby poop, the good, the bad, the yellow, green, and smelly. 

A Baby Poop Timeline

From infancy to toilet training, your sweet little nugget will be squeezing out their fair share of poop on the regular. Look for about 10 a day for the first 2 months. Then about 4 a day from month 2 to 4. Those numbers are rough — it is normal for the number of baby and infant poops to fluctuate wildly.

  The first baby poop is call meconium — and it is indeed a special one.

The First Baby Poop

It’s called meconium and it’s a super sticky, brownish-green poop. It contains swallowed amniotic fluid as well as the little hairs and waxy coating that protected your kid in the uterus. And yes you are allowed to be grossed out by that but suck it up butter-cup and deal with it...

 Whether breastfed or formula-fed, the months when baby does not eat solids leads to baby poop that is mustard-coloured and sweet-smelling.

The Next Several Hundred Baby Poops

Between months 2 and 4, baby poop gets a little bit more colourful. That colour will be different based on whether your kid is breastfed or formula-fed. In general, their cute little feculence is a shade of mustard-y taupe, but a bit darker for formula kids. The colour of Grey Poop-on, perhaps.

Breastfed baby’s poop smells “sweeter” than a formula-fed baby’s poop. But both are somewhat grainy and loose with little milk-fat curds. Think, cottage cheese. Actually, no. Don’t think that.

 Green baby poop? Orange baby poop? You’ll see it all once you introduce solids — assuming you give them a colourful variety of foods.

Green Baby Poop and Life After Solids

Once you’ve started giving the kid mashed banana, apples, cheerio’s, and the like, their poop will change. The biggest difference will be in colour as it takes on a hue more familiar to what you’re used to. Finally, your baby’s poop will be brown.

But don’t be surprised if these poops start getting even more colourful. Babies don’t have super long digestive tracts, so the transit time of what goes in their face is pretty short. You might see things show up fairly intact. Orange carrots. Green peas. Don’t be alarmed.

 The defining characteristic of toddler poops is, sorry, the smell.

Toddler Poops

At this point the mushy stools are going to get more solid and loaf-like. The consistency of their waste is what’s important here. Watery? That’s diarrhea. Dry and crumbly? You’re looking at constipation.

Sadly, this is when the smell starts really becoming a factor. You know your little one is growing up when their own little nuggets start smelling like a men’s restroom on New Years Day.

 Black baby poop can be a sign of digested blood. Call your doctor.

 Worrisome Baby Poop

There are circumstances when your kid’s poop is cause for actual concern. If you open the diaper and see any of the following, get a Dr or paediatrician on the phone:

• White Poop: Your kid could be having trouble producing bile, or have an infection.
• Black Poop: Might be a sign of digested blood. Never a good sign.
• Red Poop: Your kids stool should never be red (unless they’ve been eating lots of beets), streaks of red especially indicate bleeding.
• Mucusy Poop: If you see mucus-type substances in your kids poop it could be a sign of infection.
• Up-The-Back Blowouts: These are almost always indicative of diarrhea. Diarrhea is particularly bad for newborn babies (and anyone going on a job interview).

 Unless beetroot was on the menu, your kids stool should never be red.

Now we at Infantry are no experts on everything parenthood but lets be honest, is anyone truly? 💁‍♀️
You are the parent of your child, the one thing we would always say for certain is that if you're concerned, no matter what you hear whether it be here or at the local coffee shop. Take your baby to a Doctor IMMEDIATELY. The information collated above is from our rummaging through the web and other sources to package it to be deliverable to Dads in a manner we know they will understand 😎👌